Dad beat me when he found out I was pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am a 43-year-old woman. I have three children - two girls and one boy. They are all for one man.

We started a relationship when I was 15. My father was very much against this man, but we had our way to meet. On my 16th birthday, we had sex for the first time. I was in high school. Instead of going home after school, we went to a motel. I did not look my age and I did not wear my uniform. I took it off, and I passed for a person who was much older. We spent two hours together in this motel and that spot became our regular place to have sex.

I became pregnant with my first child while I was in high school, so I dropped out. When my parents realised that I was pregnant, my father hit me all over my face. It was the first time my father hit me. I was always his pet. My mother had to run and pull my father away. My father called me a whore, and I will never forget it. That night, my father sat down on the settee and cried when he realised that it was the same guy he told me to keep away from. But about two weeks later, my father called me and told me he was sorry for beating me, and if that is the kind of life I want to live, he couldn't stop me because he realised he was wasting his time. I told my father I was sorry but I am prepared to make the best out of life. I studied hard and I passed my exams. My mother helped me with the baby. I became a nurse. This guy married me, but I know my father has never fully accepted him. My father and I are very close; there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. My husband is aware of that.

Last year we were going to Jamaica for vacation and it was such a joy to see my husband and my father talking together. They were domino partners when my father's friends visited the home. Sometimes things don't start well, as in my case, but parents should never give up on their children. My parents told me not to give up and I didn't. I am a happy woman today. My husband runs his own business in America. I would not call him the ideal man I wanted, but I know he loves me, and he is a Christian. I never wanted a man who drinks, smokes or gambles, and he does not have these habits.

The next time we are in Jamaica, we will visit you at your church. We would like to see you in person.

I.S.

Dear I.S.,

I would be happy to meet you. I am glad that your father eventually accepted the man you love.

You know that you behaved as a bad girl while you were in high school. You took off your uniform, put on another garment, and started to go to this 'wayside hotel' to have sex with the man who was your boyfriend at the time. But I am glad that you have done well in life. I wish your family well.

Whenever you come back to Jamaica, I would be happy to meet your family. Take good care of yourself.

Pastor