Co-worker says that my wife is giving me ‘bun’

Dear Pastor,

I would like to hear your opinion. I am in my mid-30s and I have three children with a woman.

We have been living together for five years. We both surrendered our lives to the Lord. We were encouraged to get married. We did so last October in a very simple ceremony. Since getting married, I have not looked at another woman. Women have thrown themselves at me, but I have resisted all of them. It has not been easy for me, but I have not broken my vows. I cannot say that about my wife. She is an attractive woman and there are times when I call at home and she is not there.

It wondered if my wife was seeing somebody else, but she denied it. Rumour has it that there is a man who is always visiting her when I am not around. One of my wife's friends told me that she has not been faithful to me at all, and she can prove that 'Mr Joe Grind' is taking care of my wife, because he happens to be her brother. She said people have seen her with this other guy.

I did not believe her, but she said she would prove it to me. So one day, she came to work (we work at the same place), showed me a bag and told me to open it. When I did, I saw four panties. She said her brother gave her money to buy them for my wife. I asked her why her brother would do that and she said, "Because your wife is my brother's side chick, but please don't call my name." This woman asked me if I would take the panties to my wife and behave as if she was sending them. But I refuse to take them.

All that I earn goes to my wife and I cannot believe that she is cheating. I asked my co-worker what she thinks I am doing wrong. She said that my wife complains that I am too boring in bed. I have become a very unhappy man and I don't know what to do. Please help me.

Unhappy Husband

Dear Unhappy Husband,

I rather suspect that it is hard for a man who is doing his best to support his children and his wife to realise that his wife has another man in her life, and has declared to that man that life is boring with her husband.

Therefore, she needs him. Your co-worker is rather brave to tell you that the man your wife has as a lover is her brother. But why should I say that she is brave? I think that she is sorry for you. I remember years ago that a very prominent Jamaican man told me a story I will never forget. He said he knew a man who was having an affair with a woman. He went to his brother and told him, "I know my wife is having an affair, but I don't know with whom. I can't put my hand on the situation, but I know it is happening." His brother asked him, "You truly want to find out?" He said yes. His brother said, "I can prove it to you." The brother told him exactly what to do and where he should go. He obeyed his brother and they set up the whole thing. When he went to the place, he saw his wife and his brother having sex. His brother was having sex with his sister-in-law. This is a terrible world.

I need not tell you that the marriage ended right there, but he and his brother got along. This was a wicked man who was having sex with his brother's wife, and she was just as iniquitous. I am trying to say that in your case, you don't have to prove that your wife is being unfaithful to you, because your co-worker has told you that her brother is the 'bunna man'. It is for you to believe or not to believe. But I will simply say, it is time for you to talk to a lawyer.

I will stop right here.

Pastor